iamstealthyone ([info]iamstealthyone) wrote,
@ 2007-09-30 14:10:00
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Entry tags:"five times" fic, supernatural

Cast This Anchor 1/1 (Supernatural)
Cast This Anchor
By iamstealthyone

Summary: Everything’s not okay, but Sammy’s here. Five times Sam took care of Dean.

Characters: Mainly Sam and Dean, with a little bit of John.

Rating: PG-13 (Genfic.) A bit of cussing, violence, and gore.

Word count: 3,700

Disclaimer: Don’t own them. Not making money off of them.

Author’s Notes: This is a belated birthday fic for [info]swanseajill, a great beta reader and friend. She’s kind and funny and supportive, and I’m very glad to know her. :) Happy (belated) birthday, dear! Also, thanks to [info]marinarusalka, not only for the beta on this fic, but also for helping me pin down a title. Your advice and suggestions are much appreciated!

This story is also available as a podfic, courtesy of [info]twasadark.



I.

Mommy walks up to Dean’s bed, flames eating her body, and tilts what’s left of her head to the side. “It’s okay, Dean,” she rasps. She smells like smoke and rotting meat. “Mommy’s here. Everything’s okay.”

Dean shakes his head, hard. It’s not okay. Mommy burning is not okay.

She reaches toward him, and he scrambles back against the wall, opens his mouth to scream --

And jerks awake in a different bed, a different room. He’s breathing hard, heart a fist banging on a door, pillow damp with sweat. Running the back of an arm over his forehead, he takes a deep, shaky breath and blows it out. Tells himself everything’s all right.

Mommy -- Mom -- isn’t burning.

Not anymore.

Sheets rustle in the bed to Dean’s right, and in the darkness, he can make out Sammy’s small, pajama-clad shape, sitting up and clutching a teddy bear.

“Dean?”

Sammy doesn’t sound as sleepy as he should, and Dean wonders how long he’s been awake.

Sammy sets his bear down, slips out of bed, and comes over to Dean, footsteps soft against carpet. In the faint glow of the Mickey Mouse nightlight, Dean can see the crease in Sammy’s forehead, the way he’s biting his bottom lip.

Willing his heart to slow down, Dean sits up and forces his fists to unclench from the comforter, tries to look like a big, bad eight-year-old, not a freaked out little kid who wants and doesn’t want his mom.

“You okay, Dean?”

“Fine,” he says, and thinks he sounds pretty okay, all things considered. “Go back to sleep.”

Sammy gives him a long look and frowns. “You were making funny noises.”

Heat rushes across Dean’s face like a fever, and he slides his eyes away for a second. He shrugs. “Just a bad dream. I don’t even remember it now.”

Except he does. It’s the same one he’s had every November 2 since Mom died.

“You look scared.” Sammy cocks his head to the side and nods, as if answering some question in his head. “I’ll get Daddy.”

“No!” Dean grabs Sammy’s arm so tight Sammy winces. He lets go, and Sammy rubs at bare skin, looking more worried than hurt. “Sorry,” Dean says softly. “Just … let Dad sleep.”

Although Dad’s probably not sleeping. He usually doesn’t on this night.

Sammy watches Dean for a moment and then stands up straighter, expression so serious and grown up, Dean almost laughs.

“You need a story,” Sammy announces, and turns on the lamp.

The brightness is like a flashlight shining in his eyes, and Dean squints and blinks as his vision adjusts. Sammy does the same, then starts pawing through the small stack of books shoved up against a dingy wall.

Dean almost tells him Forget the book, let’s just go to bed, but if it’ll keep Sammy from bugging Dad, or staring at him for the rest of the night, it can’t hurt.

It takes only a few seconds for Sammy to find what he wants, and Dean purses his lips. Harold and the Purple Crayon. Sammy’s insisted on it at bedtime every night for three weeks, memorized it after two.

Sammy gets up on Dean’s bed, clutching the book like it’s the prize from a cereal box, and Dean shifts to make room, lifts the covers so Sammy can get under them. After the pillow’s flipped and fluffed, they stretch out, Sammy’s left arm on top of Dean’s right as he opens the book.

Dean can’t help feeling a little stupid as Sammy turns to the first page. He’s supposed to read Sammy bedtime stories, not the other way around.

Sammy clears his throat and starts reciting the book, slow and careful. “One evening, after thinking it over for some time, Harold decided to go for a walk in the moonlight.”

As the story continues, Harold using his purple crayon to draw everything he needs to get from one place to the next, Dean’s self-consciousness fades. Sammy’s voice is a warm blanket wrapping around him, and his body relaxes, inch by inch, and then grows heavy. His eyes slide shut.

Everything’s not okay, but Sammy’s here.

Dean sleeps.

II.

Sam’s sprawled on his bed reading The Screwtape Letters when he hears the front door creak open and shut, and then Dean and Casey’s voices. He rolls his eyes. Great. He knew he should’ve stayed at the library. Now Dean’s here with her, which means all sorts of kissing and touching are about to happen. They’ll start in the living room -- Dad’s still at work -- and end up in the bedroom, possibly half naked. Or worse.

A shudder works its way through Sam’s body, a mini earthquake of horror, and he sets his jaw. He is notgoing to watch Dean in action. He doesn’t deserve to be scarred for life at age twelve.

He’s eyeing the window, wondering if he can squeeze through without the latch squeaking, when he hears it.

“Dean. Umm … I don’t want to go out with you anymore.”

Sam’s head jerks toward the door, whiplash fast, because this is new. Nobody’s ever broken up with Dean.

“Come again?” Dean says, sounding as shocked as if Casey just said there’s no such thing as ghosts.

A heavy sigh, and she continues. “I’m sorry, Dean. I really like you, but … there’s this guy, Preston -- ”

Dean snorts, disgust obvious. “The captain of the football team?”

“Yeah.”

Another snort.

“Dean … I’m really sorry.”

Sam winces. “I’m really sorry” isn’t going to make getting dumped for some dumb jock any easier. Not when Dean likes Casey as much as he does, so much that he stole carnations for her out of Mrs. Simmons’ garden.

“Dean,” Casey says softly. “I just -- ”

“Dean, you home?” Sam yells, barreling out of the bedroom and into the middle of the conversation. It’ll probably piss Dean off, but he has to stop this. He waves at Casey, all fake cheer. “Hey, Casey! I didn’t know you were here. I had the headphones on.” He turns to Dean, whose ears are pink. Tight lines frame Dean’s mouth. “You need to meet Dad at the garage, like, right now. Someone called in sick.”

It’s like Sam’s given Casey a get-out-of jail-free card. An uncomfortable glance and murmured “See you at school” are all she gives Dean before hurrying out the door.

As it shuts, Dean stares at Sam, eyebrows drawing together. “Dad really need me?”

Sam shakes his head.

Dean’s lips purse, and Sam steels himself for it, for Dean to chew him out for lying, for eavesdropping on a private conversation. Instead, Dean shoulders by him into the bedroom and closes the door, hard. Ozzy starts blasting almost immediately.

Sam stands there, a tree growing roots, and considers his next move. He wants to do something, help somehow, but Dean probably wants to be left alone.

There has to be some middle ground. He just has to find it.

A couple minutes later, he does, and a minute after that, he’s knocking on the bedroom door.

“What?” Dean snaps, barely audible over the music.

Sam opens the door and pokes his head in. Dean’s on the bed, back against the wall, arms folded over his chest. His jaw’s clenching and relaxing, clenching and relaxing, rhythm precise as a metronome.

They stare at each other, and then Sam shoots a pointed glance at the stereo. Dean huffs but turns it off, then raises an eyebrow.

“I uh … ” Sam walks into the bedroom and shows off a plate of Oreos and a glass of milk. “Thought you might want a snack.”

Dean’s eyes narrow, predator targeting prey. “Are those the Oreos you swore to me, on penalty of ass-kicking, were gone?”

A slight cringe. “Yeah.”

Dean looks from Sam to the Oreos and back again, then snorts, lips twitching. Sitting up, he motions toward the plate. “Hand ’em over, bitch.”

Sam does, grinning a little, and watches Dean stuff an entire Oreo into his mouth and wash it down with a noisy gulp of milk. Another cookie quickly follows.

Sam’s not sure if he’s escaped the ass kicking, but even if he hasn’t, he figures it’s worth it.

III.

“Hold him down, dammit!” Dad booms, and Sam jumps a little.

“I’m trying,” he grates out, and he is, hands pushing Dean against the muddy forest floor. But even though he’s got height on Dean -- has since just before turning seventeen last month -- Dean’s strong, and his body jackknifes with every tug of needle and thread.

“Dad.” Dean’s voice is hoarse, gravel scraping underfoot, and God, he looks bad. His color’s three shades too light, and he’s sweating like the sun’s an inferno above them, even though it’s nearly gone, a breezy spring afternoon giving way to evening. “Gimme a minute.”

“Can’t,” Dad says, tight as a trip wire, and Sam knows Dad hates this as much as he does.

Sam’s never seen a hunt go bad like this one. They knew what they were after, had a solid plan and all the right weapons, and the baykok still got the drop on them, though barely, forced to use its arrow as a close-quarters weapon instead of an airborne missile. It still did a hell of a lot of damage, slashing through the meaty part of Dean’s thigh before Dad took it down.

The mud’s soaking through Sam’s jeans, and the scent of pine is making his nose itch, but he doesn’t care. He’s too busy worrying about his brother below him and the forest around them. His eyes stray to the towering trees and massive boulders every so often, scanning for movement. Their research indicated there might be two baykoks out here, not just one.

God, this sucks, no matter which way you look at it. And he’s considered every angle twice.

Dad pushes needle through bloody, torn flesh again, muttering, “Hold still,” and Dean groans and squeezes his eyes shut, but he doesn’t buck under Sam’s weight.

When he looks back up at Sam, Sam can barely hold his gaze. There’s too much agony there, more than Dean’s ever allowed him to see, and Sam feels like some kind of twisted voyeur.

He wishes, not for the first time, that they were at the hospital, but they’re stuck playing amateur ER for the time being. The Impala’s parked too far away to be of use anytime soon, and their cell phones haven’t found a signal in hours.

Another stitch, and Dean makes a noise Sam’s never heard before, a whimper, dammit. Sam doesn’t ever want to hear that again, knows Dean doesn’t, either, so he starts talking, covering fire for them both. He doesn’t remember half of what he says later, but he does remember Dean locking eyes with him like he’s the answer to everything.

Several minutes that feel like days pass, and then Dad’s done, and Dean’s barely conscious, and Sam’s shaking as he murmurs, “It’s okay, Dean. Take it easy. It’s over.”

Dean nods once, a faint movement, and then his eyes slip shut as his head rolls to the side.

Sam doesn’t release his grip on Dean’s shoulders until after Dad checks Dean’s pulse and nods.

“He’ll be okay,” Dad says gruffly, scrubbing a hand over his face before meeting Sam’s eyes. “Cleaned out the wound real good, and the stitches will hold until we can get him to a hospital.”

Dad’s probably right, but Sam can’t totally relax. Not until they get Dean out of here.

He gets to his feet and winces. His legs are cramped and cold, wet denim clinging to skin. “It’d only take a few hours for one of us to get to the forest ranger’s station,” he says, not expecting Dad to approve the idea but needing to put it out there anyway.

Dad nods. “I know. But the sun’s almost down, and if another baykok’s around, it’ll strike when it’s dark. Odds are a hell of a lot better if we stick together.”

Dad’s right. And it sucks.

Blowing out a long sigh, Sam grabs a blanket out of his duffel and spreads it over Dean as Dad starts packing up the first-aid kit.

“I’ll get a fire going, take first watch,” Dad says. “Keep an eye on your brother.”

Sam nods, sits down, and draws his knees to his chest. He wraps an arm around his legs, as much to hold himself together as to drive away the evening chill, and reaches under the blanket to close his hand around Dean’s wrist, thumb resting over Dean’s pulse.

He doesn’t let go until it’s his turn to take watch.

IV.

When Sam wakes from some much-needed sleep, drool at the corner of his mouth and on the pillow, he finds a note on the nightstand.

Watering Hole. Back later.

Sam’s not surprised Dean’s at the bar. They’ve been low on cash since Burkitsville, and are catching their breath for the first time in weeks.

Sam’s stomach growls, a pointed reminder it’s nine o’clock and he hasn’t had dinner yet, and he decides he might as well hit The Watering Hole. It’s either that or get fast food, and a cold beer sounds pretty damned good.

The Impala’s gone, but the bar’s walking distance from their motel, so Sam heads out on foot. He wonders if Dean will even be there by the time he arrives, or if he’ll be off with some girl he picked up.

Ten minutes later finds Sam inside his destination, eyes burning a little at the cigarette smoke fogging up the air. Through the haze and dim lighting, he sees Dean slouching at a table, two busty blondes plastered to his sides like they’ve been super-glued there. Dean waves, and Sam heads over, peanut shells crunching under his feet.

“Dude!” Dean slurs, eyes glassy, smile sloppy and loose. “Didn’t ’spect you.

Sam shrugs. “Thought I’d grab some dinner.” The girls, who look fairly sober, are eyeing him like he’s a stripper at a bachelorette party, and he hastily adds, “Takeout.”

“C’mon, Sammy. Siddown.” Dean uses a boot to nudge a chair toward Sam. “Meet Mindy ’n’ Mandy.”

“Cindy and Candy,” the girl on the right corrects Dean, cherry lips quirking up. Amused, not annoyed. “I’m Cindy.”

Candy pats the chair next to Sam and leans forward, exposing the neon-pink lace of her bra. “We’d love you to join us.”

Dean’s smile turns into a leer, and an eyebrow arches. “Girls’r real nice.”

Sam sighs, wonders when Dean will give up on Project Get Sammy Laid. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

The girls look disappointed, and Dean rolls his eyes. “Okay, man. La’er.”

After ordering takeout and a Newcastle to drink while he waits, Sam perches on a barstool and takes a swig of beer. He lazily spins around and then freezes, bottle halfway to his mouth, because Dean’s on stage, saying something to the guy running the karaoke machine.

No way.

Karaoke Guy nods at Dean, and a moment later, the music starts, a frighteningly familiar song. Sam’s mouth drops open like a broken nutcracker.

Dean grabs the microphone like it’s the only thing holding him up and slurs out, “Thissis for m’girls, Mindy ’n’ Mandy.” He clears his throat. “Ev’ry nigh’in my dreams, I see you, I feeeeeel you. Tha’s how I know you go ooooon.”

Sam’s horror is growing, because Dean isn’t just reading lyrics flashed up on a screen, he’s singing pitch perfect, which means he knows the song really, really well.

“ … Near, far, where’er you are, I belie’tha’ th’eart does go ooooon.”

Giving himself a mental shake, Sam scans the bar. Some people look aghast, others are laughing outright. Dean’s oblivious, belting it out like he’s going for a Grammy.

The girls are eating it up.

Sam sets his beer on the bar and gets to his feet. God knows, he’s not above letting Dean make a drunken ass out of himself from time to time, but he has to draw a line somewhere. He’s not that cruel.

He heads to the stage and grabs Dean’s arm. “C’mon, man. Show’s over,” he says, dragging a clumsily resisting Dean off the stage and to Dean’s table.

Candy’s beaming. “That was sooo sweet.”

Cindy nods. “Totally.”

“Thanks,” Dean slurs, and passes out.

Sam staggers a little under a couple hundred pounds of dumbass brother, but keeps Dean from kissing the floor.

So much for dinner.

Sighing, he hefts Dean up and over a shoulder. “Sorry, girls. Club Dean’s closed.”

They look highly disappointed for all of three seconds, and then their eyes rake over Sam, lingering in places he’d really rather they didn’t, and Candy raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

Sam’s lips purse. “No,” he says, and takes a step toward the exit.

“Wait!” Cindy scribbles a phone number on a cocktail napkin and grins. “In case you change your mind.”

Before Sam can protest, she stuffs the napkin down the front of his jeans, way down, and wraps it around -- Holy crap! Jerking away from her, he adjusts Dean’s weight and heads for the door at a brisk clip. And he does not acknowledge the giggles and whistles behind him.

Next time? Dean’s on his own.

V.

They walk into Nadia’s kitchen, and Dean’s lips curl into a grimace. It’s like a freakin’ Precious Moments museum, right down to the soap dispenser. Talk about creepy.

“I’ll uh, check the second floor,” Dean says, and Sam nods while scanning for EMF.

Dean takes his own meter and heads for the stairs, not really worried about splitting up. The unidentified ghost at Nadia’s house has been pretty tame, relocating objects around the house or making weird noises at odd times of the day and night. Neither Nadia nor her two kids, who are holed up in a hotel for the time being, have been hurt.

As he reaches the top of the stairs, Dean hears a scraping sound, like sandpaper along a wall, coming from the master bedroom. He tosses the EMF meter to his left hand, readies the shotgun in his right, and edges inside the room, flipping the light on as he goes.

He’s standing next to the four-poster bed when he hears movement behind him, and he spins in time to see something solid, someone solid, barrel out of the closet and crash into him. Not a ghost, but a man, and crap, the guy slams him into a wall hard enough that his vision dims, a TV picture gone bad.

The good news is he’s still got hold of the shotgun. The bad news is the guy, who he now recognizes as Nadia’s ex-husband, Ivan, is trying to rip it out of his hand.

“Playing Casper the Friendly Ghost?” Dean grates out, straining as he tries to get the upper hand.

Ivan ignores him, teeth bared, crazy-ass glint in his eyes.

Ivan’s Dean’s height, but more muscular, and Dean decides his best shot is a cheap one, jams a knee into Ivan’s crotch. Ivan squeaks-gasps and curls up a little, but the bastard doesn’t let go of the shotgun, ends up wrenching Dean away from the wall and toward the window. Dean knows their momentum is bad news, but he can’t steer them away from the inevitable.

The shattering glass is like a crystal explosion in his head, and then they’re airborne, and this is so not good, this is --

He slams into the ground, grass that might as well be concrete. It hurts like a sonofabitch, like someone’s whaled on him with a sledgehammer, shattered him into a thousand pieces. He can’t breathe right, can only wheeze as he lies on his back, wetness trickling down one temple, and blinks at the stars and moon above.

Weren’t they brighter before?

“Dean!”

Thunder of footsteps, and then Sam’s leaning over him, eyes wide, breath hitching.

“God, Dean … ” Sam turns to the right, and his brow furrows. “What the hell?”

Dean can’t see what Sam’s looking at, can’t move, but figures it’s Ivan. Probably dead, given how Sam’s focus snaps back to him quick as a gunshot.

“Hang on, man,” Sam urges, tense and unraveling at the same time. “I’m gonna call an ambulance.”

No point in arguing, because wanted man or not, he needs a hospital. Now. Besides, he can’t talk, anyway. It takes everything he has just to breathe.

A quick, frantic call, and then Sam moves as if to check for injuries but stops, eyes darting everywhere, hands hovering and trembling.

All Dean can do is silently beg -- Please don’t touch me, Sammy, please please please -- and Sam doesn’t. Thank God, he doesn’t.

Dean’s lungs are near useless now, desperate for oxygen like a junkie needing a fix. He feels a cough coming on and tries to stifle it, afraid of the damage it might do. It breaks loose anyway, rips through him, and he tastes warm, wet metal as it slicks his lips.

Sam stares, frozen, for a few uneven heartbeats, and then his eyes narrow, and his jaw locks. He shakes his head. “You listen to me, Dean,” he growls. “I didn’t save your ass from that crossroads demon so you can die on me now. You’re gonna be all right, you hear me?”

His hand slips into Dean’s and squeezes, more pressure than pain. Dean tries to squeeze back. Can’t. Can’t nod, either.

What’s more, he’s not too sure Sam’s right on this one.

“Dean!” Sam snaps. “You hear me?”

He coughs again, tastes blood again, more this time than last.

Sam’s anger slips, a flame extinguished, and he lowers his forehead to Dean’s. Dean can feel the warmth of Sam’s skin, the sweat on his brow.

“Please,” Sam husks out, a plea and a command. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to do this alone. Fight, damn you.

Dean hurts like hell, body screaming Let go, just let go, but the thought of leaving Sam alone …

He fights.

---

End
September 2007




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(169 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]leenys
2007-09-30 09:30 pm UTC (link)
AWESOME. Doesn't begin to describe it, but seriously. That ending. WOW.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:42 am UTC (link)
Aww, I'm glad you liked it so much! And hearing that you loved the ending makes me so, so happy. When I wrote it, it "felt right," and I was hoping it would work well for the reader, too.

Thanks for the lovely feedback!

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[info]sunrunnersioned
2007-09-30 09:39 pm UTC (link)
*sniffles* that gave me goosebumps! Probably the sweetest fic I've read in ages! Wonderful job!~

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:47 am UTC (link)
I'm so happy you enjoyed this so much! It's great hearing it resonated with you like it did. I was hoping it would strike some strong emotional chords with people.

Thanks much for the lovely feedback!

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Well done
[info]yasminke
2007-09-30 09:48 pm UTC (link)
Those were excellent vignettes, very well written. I hope the birthday girl likes them.

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Re: Well done
[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:50 am UTC (link)
I'm glad you liked the different scenarios I presented in this fic, as I really enjoyed coming up with them. It's fun creating different snapshots of their lives.

I hope the birthday girl likes them.

Me, too! :)

Thanks much for the lovely feedback!

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[info]vesuvianite
2007-09-30 09:59 pm UTC (link)
Very nice. That last segment, in particular, really got to me.

And Dean singing karaoke. Hee.

Great job.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 05:26 am UTC (link)
I'm so glad you liked this!

That last segment, in particular, really got to me.

That makes me happy. :) When I was planning the story, I had really specific ideas about how I wanted the last one to feel, and especially about how the ending lines should play out. So, hearing that this segment struck you strongly is quite gratifying. :)

And Dean singing karaoke. Hee.

*g* Good to know it tickled your funny bone. I had so much fun writing that section. I like to think that Dean's not immune to doing silly things while drunk.

Thanks much for the lovely feedback!

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[info]katriel1987
2007-09-30 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Oh. OH. Beautiful and funny and tragic, and that ending is beyond perfect.

Favorite lines:

Mommy walks up to Dean’s bed, flames eating her body, and tilts what’s left of her head to the side. “It’s okay, Dean,” she rasps. She smells like smoke and rotting meat. “Mommy’s here. Everything’s okay.”

Creepy and visceral and makes my heart ache for the innocence Dean lost so early. Oh, Dean.

Everything’s not okay, but Sammy’s here.

Aww. I love the idea of wee!Sammy taking care of wee!Dean.

Dean looks from Sam to the Oreos and back again, then snorts, lips twitching. Sitting up, he motions toward the plate. “Hand ’em over, bitch.”

Yes. The way to heal Dean's heart: with food. And of course Sam would know this, being an awesome little brother. :)

Another stitch, and Dean makes a noise Sam’s never heard before, a whimper, dammit. Sam doesn’t ever want to hear that again, knows Dean doesn’t, either, so he starts talking, covering fire for them both. He doesn’t remember half of what he says later, but he does remember Dean locking eyes with him like he’s the answer to everything.

Oh, Dean, in so much pain but trying to be tough. And I love Sam. Madly.

Before Sam can protest, she stuffs the napkin down the front of his jeans, way down, and wraps it around -- Holy crap! Jerking away from her, he adjusts Dean’s weight and heads for the door at a brisk clip. And he does not acknowledge the giggles and whistles behind him.

This made me die laughing. Sammy, you adorable prude.

Sam’s anger slips, a flame extinguished, and he lowers his forehead to Dean’s. Dean can feel the warmth of Sam’s skin, the sweat on his brow.

Oh, the imagery here is just gorgeous and aching and...*whimpers*

He fights.

Yes. When everything's telling him to let go...he'll fight, for his brother's sake. Amazing.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:23 pm UTC (link)
Wow, what lovely feedback! *snuggles it* I'm so happy you liked the fic so much. :)

Creepy and visceral and makes my heart ache for the innocence Dean lost so early.

I love you calling that bit "creepy" and "visceral." :) That's definitely what I was going for. I wanted to convey a world of horror and angst in a short amount of space. Great to hear it worked for you!

Aww. I love the idea of wee!Sammy taking care of wee!Dean.

Me, too. :) I got the book-reading idea from my oldest daughter, who's five. She started memorizing books when she was three, and she sometimes helps put her sister down for bed.

Yes. The way to heal Dean's heart: with food. And of course Sam would know this, being an awesome little brother. :)

Dean+food=joy! And yup, Sam's awesome. *pets him*

This made me die laughing. Sammy, you adorable prude.

*g* I figure Sam probably hadn't been felt up in quite this fashion by a random bar chick. It'd have to freak him out just a little. *snickers*

Oh, the imagery here is just gorgeous and aching and...*whimpers*

I'm glad this hit you like that. I really liked this image a lot myself. And I love you pointing to the final line (He fights). I knew that would be the last line of this section from a very early stage, when I was outlining the fic. In fact, it's the reason I chose present tense for everything. It had a ring that "He fought" just didn't.

Thanks so much for the lovely comments, and especially for taking the time to point out your favorite lines. I love hearing which parts stand out for the reader. *hugs*

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[info]junalele
2007-09-30 10:04 pm UTC (link)
This are so wonderful. Loved the first one and the second with little Sammy instinctively knowing what Dean needs and how to deliver. And the third - nearly broke my heart. But still spot on in that Sammy is Dean's anchor and not his Dad. The fourth made me chuckle and wish for singing Dean on the show as Jensen Ackles sure can sing. Okay, so it might go against Dean's badass image. Slightly. Lolz. the last one - the end is just cruel but since you wrote that this is five times Sam takes care of Dean I'm going to take it as a given that Dean will be fine. Oh, and if tell me the opposite I'm afraid I'll have to burn and salt you. ;P

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:34 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you enjoyed this! And I really appreciate you pointing out what you liked about each section.

Loved the first one and the second with little Sammy instinctively knowing what Dean needs and how to deliver.

I think Sam's really in tune with how to deal with Dean's varying moods, and while sometimes he might push too hard, much of the time, he knows just what to do. And I love the idea that he's had this kind of instinct from an early age.

The fourth made me chuckle

*g* That's definitely good to hear, as I had so much fun writing that section and didn't want to be the only one who found the situation amusing. :)

he end is just cruel but since you wrote that this is five times Sam takes care of Dean I'm going to take it as a given that Dean will be fine. Oh, and if tell me the opposite I'm afraid I'll have to burn and salt you. ;P

LOL! I promise you, Dean does, indeed, live. I rarely ever kill the boys off in my fics. :)

Thanks much for the lovely feedback!

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(no subject) - [info]junalele, 2007-10-01 03:45 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]iamstealthyone, 2007-10-01 03:49 pm UTC

[info]janissa11
2007-09-30 10:11 pm UTC (link)
So very beautiful. Oh DEAN, oh SAMMY. Oh sweet boys.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:35 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you liked this! And it's good to hear that the various scenarios I picked out got this reaction:

Oh DEAN, oh SAMMY. Oh sweet boys.

I do so love writing these boys.

Thanks for the kind feedback!

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[info]blacklid
2007-09-30 10:11 pm UTC (link)
I especially like this last one. But Dean singing Dion? HA! Too Good.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:38 pm UTC (link)
Glad you enjoyed the fic! And it's great to hear the fourth section tickled your funny bone like it did. I originally had planned on Dean singing that song as part of another story that I completely outlined but never actually wrote. Since I don't think I'll ever write that story, I decided to steal from myself and alter the scene for this one.

Thanks much for the kind feedback!

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(Anonymous)
2007-09-30 10:15 pm UTC (link)
I like the way you set up the transition from part I to part II, with Sam still reading even though a few years have gone by, and the transition from part III to part IV, where it seems like Sam goes to sleep and wakes up a few years later. It created a nice flow and connected the separate pieces together. (If you did that with the transitions, sorry that I didn't notice.) Very nice.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 03:39 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you liked the story, and that you felt it flowed well. It's always intriguing to write five separate scenarios but keep them feeling somewhat cohesive. Glad it worked for you!

Thanks for the kind feedback!

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[info]quellefromage
2007-09-30 10:16 pm UTC (link)
MEGA LOVE!!!

Darlin' this is just perfect, from wee to teen to drunk to hurt, it's wonderful!! Thank you so much for sharing it!

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 06:24 pm UTC (link)
I'm so glad you liked it so much! I really enjoyed coming up with the various scenarios for this fic, and it's good hearing you liked the mix.

Thanks much for the kind feedback!

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[info]girlfan1979
2007-09-30 10:25 pm UTC (link)
The ending is awesome, and I love this line:

When he looks back up at Sam, Sam can barely hold his gaze. There’s too much agony there, more than Dean’s ever allowed him to see, and Sam feels like some kind of twisted voyeur.

But the second part is my favourite. The everyday hits and wounds you'd never show anybody, but your siblings see anyway, and try to sooth.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 06:32 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you liked this, and it's really gratifying to hear you liked the ending. From an early point in the planning process, I knew how I wanted that ending to read/"feel," so it's good knowing it worked well for you. :)

Also, I love that you pointed out that one line, because I tweaked that thing a lot, trying to get it just right.

But the second part is my favourite. The everyday hits and wounds you'd never show anybody, but your siblings see anyway, and try to sooth.

Yeah, I figure the danger of hunting definitely wasn't the only tough thing the boys had to face over the years.

Thanks much for the kind feedback, and for pointing out specific bits you liked. :)

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(no subject) - [info]girlfan1979, 2007-10-01 06:43 pm UTC

[info]eloise_bright
2007-09-30 10:28 pm UTC (link)
Oh, Dean. All of them. And Yay for good little brother Sam. What I love about these is that Sam picked up his good brother habits from Dean *g* T

I love them all, but the stitching in the forest one is particularly lovely. I do like a nice bit of hurt!Dean, with a sidedish of fiercely concerned!Sammy, and a worried but stern!John.

The karaoke one cracked me up, Sammy really is the best brother ever in this one.

Great job with the fic - I was smiling, and awing and wibbling my way through each section!

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 06:53 pm UTC (link)
I'm so glad you liked it, dear! :)

What I love about these is that Sam picked up his good brother habits from Dean *g*

*nods* Sam had a good role model. *squishes them both*

I love them all, but the stitching in the forest one is particularly lovely. I do like a nice bit of hurt!Dean, with a sidedish of fiercely concerned!Sammy, and a worried but stern!John.

I rather enjoy that combo myself. Btw, it's good to hear you liked this section especially, as it wasn't originally part of the story. I had a different h/c scenario planned here, but when I sat down to write it, this one popped into my head instead.

The karaoke one cracked me up, Sammy really is the best brother ever in this one.

He is. He really is. *g* Great to hear this one tickled your funny bone. I repurposed it from another fic that I never got around to writing. *g*

Thanks so much for the lovely feedback, and for pointing out specific things you liked. :)

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[info]ulkis
2007-09-30 10:34 pm UTC (link)
aaaw. aaaw. This was adorable! (Although I am slightly evil, because teenage need probably needed to be the dumpee at least once. *g*)

And the Dean singing kareoke part especially cracked me up, because as soon as a bar was mentioned I thought they were going to get into a bar fight.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 07:06 pm UTC (link)
I'm so glad you liked this!

Although I am slightly evil, because teenage need probably needed to be the dumpee at least once.

Yeah, I figure Dean must have been dumped at some point. (But I bet Preston didn't turn out as awesome as our Dean. *g*)

And the Dean singing kareoke part especially cracked me up, because as soon as a bar was mentioned I thought they were going to get into a bar fight.

Yay! I had so much fun writing that section, so it's very gratifying hearing it tickled your funny bone. :) Also, I was hoping people might be pleasantly surprised that it wound up being something lighthearted instead of angsty. :)

Thanks so much for the kind feedback!

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[info]kalyw
2007-09-30 11:14 pm UTC (link)
Aww, I love me some protective Sammy and this just rocked. :)

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 07:09 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you liked it! And happy to share the protective!Sammy love. :) He's such a good little brother. *pets him*

Thanks much for the kind feedback!

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[info]muddledmusings
2007-09-30 11:16 pm UTC (link)
Wow. That last one - Dean coughed, and my breath caught. Dean choked on blood, and I choked back tears. It was like...just wow. Loved this. Thanks for sharing.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 08:47 pm UTC (link)
It's so gratifying to hear that the last one hit you emotionally the way it did. I definitely wanted it to hit the reader hard. I'm glad it worked so well for you!

Thanks much for the lovely feedback!

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[info]embroiderama
2007-09-30 11:43 pm UTC (link)
Wow, these are all wonderful. I love the first one just excessively, with wee!Sam doing what he can to comfort his big brother.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 08:48 pm UTC (link)
I'm so happy you liked it! It's really been interesting to hear which ones people liked the most, and I admit to having a definite fondness for the first one. I got to play a little with horror but wrap it up with some sweetness, and I just love the idea of wee!Sam reading to his big brother, and Dean taking such comfort in it.

Thanks for the kind feedback!

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[info]javajunkie13
2007-10-01 12:25 am UTC (link)
I was reading the whole thing grinning at the adorableness, and then BAM the ending came and just left me speechless. So very wonderful.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 08:50 pm UTC (link)
It's great to hear that the last one hit you the way it did. I like to end these five-times fics with some serious angst, something that has a strong impact on the reader.

Thanks much for the kind feedback!

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[info]marinarusalka
2007-10-01 12:35 am UTC (link)
You already know I love this story, but I'll say it again anyway. It made me love Sammy even more than I already did, which isn't easy. He's so perfect in this, taking care of Dean from the beginning, in matters ranging from life-threatening injuries to karaoke humiliation. Bestest little brother ever.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 08:52 pm UTC (link)
First off, allow me to thank you again for the beta. It was very, very helpful. *hugs*

I'm so glad this worked so well for you, and that you liked the various scenarios I came up with to illustrate just how awesome Sam is with Dean.

It made me love Sammy even more than I already did, which isn't easy.

Aww, thanks!

Bestest little brother ever.

*nods*

*hugs Sam*

Thanks again for the beta, and for the lovely feedback!

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[info]starpixie16
2007-10-01 12:54 am UTC (link)
This was absolutely fantastic from start to finish with a wonderful balance of humor and angst.

That first segment...Sammy's adorable the way he takes charge and decides Dean needs a bedtime story. I liked his choice too -- I remember reading that book over and over as a kid. :)

I have utter adoration for the second. You captured that brotherly bond so well.

“Dean, you home?” Sam yells, barreling out of the bedroom and into the middle of the conversation. It’ll probably piss Dean off, but he has to stop this.

It's so perfect, the way Sam bursts into the room and temporarily rescues Dean from the blow to his heart and ego. And of course, Oreos can smooth over any situation. ;)

The third segment made my heart ache for Sam witnessing all the pain Dean was going through. It would have to be a scary thing to see your older brother like that, seeing that agony in his eyes. And poor Dean...

He doesn’t remember half of what he says later, but he does remember Dean locking eyes with him like he’s the answer to everything.

Such a beautiful line. I think Dean really does see Sam as the answer to everything. Certainly he sees him as the answer to why he keeps going, the reason he's determined to fight no matter what the odds.

During the fourth, I completely cracked up at the image of Dean singing "My Heart Will Go On". *lol* And to think he once claimed it was Sam who does karaoke after a couple beers! ;P

Then that final segment had tears welling in my eyes. Oh, Dean...

Dean hurts like hell, body screaming Let go, just let go, but the thought of leaving Sam alone …

He fights.


Those last lines were so powerful, and so like Dean. No matter how badly Death might want him, he'll always fight it for Sam's sake.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 11:26 pm UTC (link)
Wow, thanks for the awesome feedback! *snuggles it*

I'm so glad you liked this fic, and it's great to hear you enjoyed the mix of angst and humor. I try to incorporate both into these five-times stories.

That first segment...Sammy's adorable the way he takes charge and decides Dean needs a bedtime story. I liked his choice too -- I remember reading that book over and over as a kid. :)

I got some inspiration for this piece from my 5-year-old daughter, who started memorizing books at age 3 and sometimes helps put her little sister to bed. As for the book choice, it just seemed like something wee!Sam would like. Glad you liked it, too. :)

In the second one, I wanted to capture how even though Dean can irritate Sam a lot of the time, Sam can be quite protective when someone else messes with Dean. Also, he can figure out how to deal with Dean’s different moods (even though he sometimes doesn’t do it exactly the right way).

In the third one, yeah, it would have to be hard for Sam to see Dean so vulnerable. Poor boys … I’m really happy you picked out the line you did, because the end part (“like he’s the answer to everything”) is one of my favorite bits in that section. :)

During the fourth, I completely cracked up at the image of Dean singing "My Heart Will Go On". *lol* And to think he once claimed it was Sam who does karaoke after a couple beers! ;P

*g* I’m thinking Sam’s probably done it multiple times, and this was Dean’s one slip. Sam never really talks about it, because it was quite painful to watch, and even though it’s great blackmail material, it’s hard to relive the whole sordid ordeal. *snickers*

It’s great to hear how that last section hit you, as I wanted it to have that kind of strong emotional impact for the reader. And I love that you specifically pointed out the last two lines. From an early point in writing this story, I knew the final line would be “He fights.” I was hoping it would resonate with readers like it did in my head. :)

Thanks so much for all of your lovely feedback, and especially for taking the time to point out specific things/lines you liked. I really appreciate knowing what stood out for you! *hugs*

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[info]jacedesbff
2007-10-01 12:58 am UTC (link)
Dude, how many ways did I love that? And I have to say, I totally love that Dean knew all the words to Celine Dion's greatest hit. Oh, yeah, baby.

Dean hurts like hell, body screaming Let go, just let go, but the thought of leaving Sam alone …

He fights.


LOVE you! :-)

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-01 11:53 pm UTC (link)

And I love that you specifically pointed out the last few lines of the fic. I knew from the planning stages of this story that the last section would end with “He fights,” and I was hoping it would strike readers the same way it struck me.

And I have to say, I totally love that Dean knew all the words to Celine Dion's greatest hit. Oh, yeah, baby.

That song was just everywhere during the height of its popularity. I'm guessing that Dean, despite practically living in his car with his cassettes, heard it at some point. I actually have this tiny snippet of back story in my head in which Dean spent the night with a girl who adored the song and insisted on playing it during their, um, activities. He loathed the song -- who the hell finds a song about death romantic or sexy? -- but she really, really liked it, so ... And then at this bar, he remembers how the song drove that girl crazy, and uses it to “seal the deal” with Cindy and Candy.

Probably more info than you needed to know. *g*

Thanks so much for the lovely feedback!

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[info]hiyacynth
2007-10-01 02:04 am UTC (link)
All so wonderful, but man that scene in the forest, Sam sitting on Dean to keep him down while John stitches, talking at him to keep him focused, calm, distracted... it just killed me dead.

Excellent job across the board! Thanks for a wonderful study break.

:-)
c

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-02 01:14 am UTC (link)
Hi, you!

I'm so glad you liked this, and it's great to hear you liked all the sections. I tried to create a fairly wide gamut of scenarios to illustrate the awesomeness that is Sam. :)

but man that scene in the forest, Sam sitting on Dean to keep him down while John stitches, talking at him to keep him focused, calm, distracted... it just killed me dead.

Yay! That section was originally going to be an entirely different h/c scenario, but when I sat down to write, I felt like I needed something grittier, and this idea formed pretty quickly. It's very gratifying to hear that it stood out for you.

Thanks for the lovely feedback, dear!

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[info]kiraboshi
2007-10-01 02:19 am UTC (link)
Loved it. I was pleasantly surprised to be jarred from my preconceived idea that the summary meant Dean being hurt and Sam saving him -- trust me, I REALLY appreciated those moments. But I think there's more value, character-wise, in the moments when life may not be threatened. Does that make any sense? Sorry. Am picturing the last one in my head...I really liked that one! What can I say...I'm a simple, hurt!dean lovin' girl.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-02 01:28 am UTC (link)
Hey, you! Good to see you here. :) And I'm really glad you liked the fic.

I was pleasantly surprised to be jarred from my preconceived idea that the summary meant Dean being hurt and Sam saving him -- trust me, I REALLY appreciated those moments. But I think there's more value, character-wise, in the moments when life may not be threatened. Does that make any sense?

It makes total sense, and it makes me happy to hear you say it. :) I knew I could make this fic nothing but five pure h/c scenarios, but I felt it would work better to go beyond that, to show a wider range of ways in which Sam was an awesome little brother. I was hoping that would work for people, but I knew there was a risk some readers might be bummed that not every section involved h/c. So it's gratifying to hear you like how it turned out. :)

Am picturing the last one in my head...I really liked that one!

Thanks! I felt almost guilty writing Dean near death, given how many times he's been near death on the show (and Lord knows I've maimed him in my fics). I wondered if it'd feel like a cliché. But I really loved the idea of Sam getting angry and doing the whole "I didn't save you from the crossroads bitch so you can die on me now" thing, and then Dean hanging on simply because he loves Sammy that much.

Oh, boys.

Thanks much for the lovely feedback!

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[info]alias_chick
2007-10-01 02:34 am UTC (link)
That was absolutely awesome!! Totally what I needed and beautifully written! And that end was awesome! Thanks for the amazing read, hon!

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-02 02:17 am UTC (link)
I'm so glad you liked it! :)

And that end was awesome!

Thanks! I knew from an early point how that last section would go -- and I had the final line in mind from the very beginning of the writing process -- so it's great hearing it worked so well for you.

Thanks for the lovely feedback!

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[info]willoweese
2007-10-01 03:20 am UTC (link)
So very powerful. I loved this from beginning to end.

This:
"Everything’s not okay, but Sammy’s here."

And this:
"the thought of leaving Sam alone …"

~ With the lives that they lead, the things that they see, I love that Dean's most prominent thought is that they are all right, so long as they are together.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-02 04:08 am UTC (link)
First off, cool icon! :)

I'm so glad you liked this fic, and that it worked for you from beginning to end.

With the lives that they lead, the things that they see, I love that Dean's most prominent thought is that they are all right, so long as they are together.

Yeah ... and it's so painful to think of them apart. They must never be apart! *hugs them*

Thanks much for the kind feedback. :)

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[info]downbythebay_4
2007-10-01 03:26 am UTC (link)
Very well done. So sweet. And I love the reference to The Screwtape Letters.

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[info]iamstealthyone
2007-10-02 03:10 pm UTC (link)
I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, and that you liked the reference to "The Screwtape Letters." I spent a few minutes deciding exactly which book Sam might be reading at this stage of his life, and I was hoping it would "fit" for the reader. So yay!

Thanks for the kind feedback!

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